Yesterday I met a girl at the university who asked me how long I'd been in Tanzania. When I told her one month she gave me a look of surprise and said, "it seems like you've been here much longer."
I don't know what she was basing that opinion on but sometimes I think my entire life has been preparing me for Africa. That's not to say I suddenly think I want to spend my life here.
Today I was on the bus and it was sweltering hot and we weren't moving (cues and hold ups are about the only thing you can count on in this country) and it occurred to me as I sat back resting my eyes that I'm incredibly patient. I'm not trying to pat myself on the back and if Heather is reading this she is probably saying "yeah right." But it's true...I am very patient for the things that can not be controlled but if I have an idea (such as "i want to play HALO - now") I have to make it happen right away (hence my impulsive purchase of an XBOX off Kijiji this summer). The point is, such a character trait is incredibly handy here.
I'm also really good at zoning out. In Canada some have thought I'm just constantly lost in my own deep thoughts (and sometimes that is true) but sometimes i'm just totally zoned out. No I'm not a pot head. This may seem an odd asset but when you find yourself in large crowds of people speaking a language you don't understand it is quite handy to zone out and live in your own world for a while (where you can talk to yourself and it's quite interesting!)
Perhaps one of the more obvious preparations are the years I spent in ethinic churches...particularly the Ghanaian one. There are funny little cultural things (like the presentation of a faux mink blanket as a gift - in this heat?!)that happen here all the time that don't phase me because I've experienced them so many times before. I guess that gives me confidence.
And my most African asset would be...my ass. Is that inappropriate? Sorry to all the 'professionals' reading this. But if you know Tanzanians you know they love to talk about relationships and the way girls look. I have a more African than Canadian figure. There is no escaping it. But If ind it somewhat hilarious because all the things that potentially make me insecure in Canada make me hot in Tanzania. Hot Damn.
In other news...I've been encourages by a professor/friend here to start writing again. After some of the things I went through two years ago I stopped writing because writing was a reminder of pain. I think it's time for me to get over that and start being creative again. So I might be publishing some colomns in a local English paper here...that would be cool!
Friday, October 30, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Bored.
So I've been staying at the University flat for 6 days now...it's boring. For whatever reason there are only a few other people staying there right now and they are virtually invisible. Being alone makes you discover things about yourself. For some reason I don't like to eat out alone or maybe I'm just intimidated but I tend to combine lunch and dinner by eating in between the two times. It's kind of weird. Anyway, I'm trying to get this media guide done but only 5 out of 20 people have returned their forms. Sometimes getting things done here is excruciating! I'm missing Canada and the people I know there.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Locked IN my room!
It has been difficult lately to get to the Internet so I have post dated the last three entries to when I actually wrote them. Things are coming along. Today I moved from the home I was staying in to a flat at the University. Within the first 20 minutes I not only locked myself IN the room, I broke the key. Oh yes, this is a true story.
I thought it would be good to try locking the door but I forgot to keep the door open as I did this. So I locked myself in and when I tried to get out I couldn't turn the key over. I tried so hard in fact that the key broke off and was in the door lock. I had a 5sec hyperventilation session and then I figured out how to get the key out...excellent but I was still a prisoner in my own room...by my own hand!
Fortunately I figured out how to open the window slats and was able to call out to a staff member for help. "Help I've locked myself IN MY ROOM" Now if that doesn't make me a "crazy Mzungu" I don't know what does.
It was a great way to start the day...really.
But the room is really nice and there is a complimentary breakfast in the mornings PLUS there will be no blasting prayers or kookoos waking me up or Mama walking in my room at 6:30am to tell me she is leaving for school...
Thank GOD!
I love and miss you all...eventually I'll figure out how to get pictures up!
I thought it would be good to try locking the door but I forgot to keep the door open as I did this. So I locked myself in and when I tried to get out I couldn't turn the key over. I tried so hard in fact that the key broke off and was in the door lock. I had a 5sec hyperventilation session and then I figured out how to get the key out...excellent but I was still a prisoner in my own room...by my own hand!
Fortunately I figured out how to open the window slats and was able to call out to a staff member for help. "Help I've locked myself IN MY ROOM" Now if that doesn't make me a "crazy Mzungu" I don't know what does.
It was a great way to start the day...really.
But the room is really nice and there is a complimentary breakfast in the mornings PLUS there will be no blasting prayers or kookoos waking me up or Mama walking in my room at 6:30am to tell me she is leaving for school...
Thank GOD!
I love and miss you all...eventually I'll figure out how to get pictures up!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Daladalas and "Squeezers"
Today was a really great day.
I’ve been pretty awesome at managing the daladala (local bus) system on my own. I can only describe it as the most chaotic yet surprisingly easy and efficient transit system I’ve ever experienced. They have a guy that hollars out the destination of the bus, which is also printed on the outside, and as the bust rolls by (sometimes barely stopping) you just jump on. Eventually the money collector comes around, clinking the coins in his hand, and you pass over a few hundred shillings. The process of scrambling to make it on a bus is rather exhilarating.
The daladalas are generally packed so if you can get a seat you take it. If not, you’re left standing which can get fairly interesting as you squish together and get jostled about. Sometimes you can’t even hold on to anything. The first time this happened to me I thought…”here we go, I’m going to just fall over.” But the brilliant thing about being packed in the bus like sardines in a can is that no one can fall. You just sort of sway as one giant being. So I braced myself a bit with my hands against the roof and just swayed with the crowd.
Letting people off the bus can be a bit tricky…it involves a lot of maneuvering and pushing past bodies but somehow it works. One time I found myself in the last seat by the window, where my knees had been crushed by the slanted seat in front of me for about an hour. I had been planning my escape route the entire time and decided the best way to get out would be to just jump out the window. It seemed wholly reasonable to me, I figured I could fit through and the entire bus would get a good laugh. Fortunately…or unfortunately, I’m not sure…the bus emptied out by the time we reached my stop and not only did my knees experience extreme relief but I was able to casually walk off the bus.
Today’s experience was particularly hilarious because amidst all this, I met a sweet talker. Not only did he dub me his “gorjus (gorgeous) Baby” within the first half hour of talking but he called me a “squeezer.” Perhaps I should explain. It’s amazing how quickly a conversation can digress from discussions of Canada and schools to “I love you, baby.” I’m not oblivious to how the African sweet talking of Mzungus works and I figured his English was good enough to let him know it...so I told him he’s a player. Of course he pretended to be shocked by this, wondering how I could say (or know) such a thing. The whole encounter was a pretty funny and harmless. When we parted ways he said to his friend “she’s a squeezer.” I had to ask Alex what this means, which he told me is slang for a girl who won’t reciprocate affections. Okay so I didn’t fall in love with him in minutes…I’m also not looking to get an easy lay or a ticket to Canada! Hahaha…
It’s amazing how easy it is to pick up in Tanzania if you’re a foreigner. You have to give these guys credit for being so forward…I guess you never know when you’ll get lucky.
Enough from me…how are you?
I’ve been pretty awesome at managing the daladala (local bus) system on my own. I can only describe it as the most chaotic yet surprisingly easy and efficient transit system I’ve ever experienced. They have a guy that hollars out the destination of the bus, which is also printed on the outside, and as the bust rolls by (sometimes barely stopping) you just jump on. Eventually the money collector comes around, clinking the coins in his hand, and you pass over a few hundred shillings. The process of scrambling to make it on a bus is rather exhilarating.
The daladalas are generally packed so if you can get a seat you take it. If not, you’re left standing which can get fairly interesting as you squish together and get jostled about. Sometimes you can’t even hold on to anything. The first time this happened to me I thought…”here we go, I’m going to just fall over.” But the brilliant thing about being packed in the bus like sardines in a can is that no one can fall. You just sort of sway as one giant being. So I braced myself a bit with my hands against the roof and just swayed with the crowd.
Letting people off the bus can be a bit tricky…it involves a lot of maneuvering and pushing past bodies but somehow it works. One time I found myself in the last seat by the window, where my knees had been crushed by the slanted seat in front of me for about an hour. I had been planning my escape route the entire time and decided the best way to get out would be to just jump out the window. It seemed wholly reasonable to me, I figured I could fit through and the entire bus would get a good laugh. Fortunately…or unfortunately, I’m not sure…the bus emptied out by the time we reached my stop and not only did my knees experience extreme relief but I was able to casually walk off the bus.
Today’s experience was particularly hilarious because amidst all this, I met a sweet talker. Not only did he dub me his “gorjus (gorgeous) Baby” within the first half hour of talking but he called me a “squeezer.” Perhaps I should explain. It’s amazing how quickly a conversation can digress from discussions of Canada and schools to “I love you, baby.” I’m not oblivious to how the African sweet talking of Mzungus works and I figured his English was good enough to let him know it...so I told him he’s a player. Of course he pretended to be shocked by this, wondering how I could say (or know) such a thing. The whole encounter was a pretty funny and harmless. When we parted ways he said to his friend “she’s a squeezer.” I had to ask Alex what this means, which he told me is slang for a girl who won’t reciprocate affections. Okay so I didn’t fall in love with him in minutes…I’m also not looking to get an easy lay or a ticket to Canada! Hahaha…
It’s amazing how easy it is to pick up in Tanzania if you’re a foreigner. You have to give these guys credit for being so forward…I guess you never know when you’ll get lucky.
Enough from me…how are you?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Development Blues
Development is so frustrating. I am sitting here watching a news bit on the food crisis in Africa and a hospital in Lesotho that is dedicated to administering HIV/AIDS meds to children. My tasks here in Tanzania are administrative and assist in the structural dynamics of development. While I know I am contributing to something important and sustainable, I can’t help but wish to be doing something more tangible. If I had gone to University for something like Nursing (as I had planned…) I could administer needles and check blood pressure and work in a hospital for 8 hours a day giving out meds. At the end of three months I would know I helped hundreds of thousands of people in their fight against disease.
The struggle between these dynamics of development is a constant struggle for me and many other Development students I know. Of course we understand the need for “frontline” and administrative work there is just this nagging desire to be doing.
Maybe I’m too compulsive or impatient or maybe I just like the reward of tangible results. Sometimes it just feels like I’m wasting my time on faux development, when I could be doing something that feels more real. Is this just an emotional response? Am I thinking with my heart instead of with my head when I get like this? Probably. I really don’t want to go back to school but I need to be involved in something that is not wholly contingent on computer or internet access. I’m hoping this will change when I get a career job.
I think I also get really frustrated by the blatant injustices in human society. Is it so difficult and absurd to have equality or curb greed??
An advocate on the news said, “Unless people are getting a plate of food they can’t focus on education or skills development.” It’s wrong that something as basic as food is a barrier to development.
“There is no deficit in human resources only a deficit in human will.” Martin Luther King Jr.
The struggle between these dynamics of development is a constant struggle for me and many other Development students I know. Of course we understand the need for “frontline” and administrative work there is just this nagging desire to be doing.
Maybe I’m too compulsive or impatient or maybe I just like the reward of tangible results. Sometimes it just feels like I’m wasting my time on faux development, when I could be doing something that feels more real. Is this just an emotional response? Am I thinking with my heart instead of with my head when I get like this? Probably. I really don’t want to go back to school but I need to be involved in something that is not wholly contingent on computer or internet access. I’m hoping this will change when I get a career job.
I think I also get really frustrated by the blatant injustices in human society. Is it so difficult and absurd to have equality or curb greed??
An advocate on the news said, “Unless people are getting a plate of food they can’t focus on education or skills development.” It’s wrong that something as basic as food is a barrier to development.
“There is no deficit in human resources only a deficit in human will.” Martin Luther King Jr.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Mzungu
I had a bit of a frustrating day and feel the need to rant..
Being a white woman in a sea of Africans is entertaining…mostly for them not me. If you have been to Africa as a visible foreigner then you are familiar with the constant declarations that you are white. “Mzungu, Mzungu” is like a incessant ringing bell. Everywhere you go people feel obliged to remind you that:
a) You are white
b) They have noticed you are white
c) This is something we should all comment on
Most of the time they just want to greet you or ask you to marry them. ..
Oh and it’s perfectly alright for me to have multiple husbands…in multiple countries…so say the boys at the market. Watch out.
Africa is funny. If you have serious issues with self-worth or confidence I don’t recommend coming here…on the other hand it might be just what you need to get over it. Being the object of investigation for everyone around you means every flaw will be noted and mentioned…and likely laughed about. I can’t even count the number of times the freckles or moles on my arms have been counted or comments on my stray-away hair in the wind or discussions over the fact that I don’t take sugar in my coffee and take smaller portions at dinner or the fact that I drink a lot of water or that when I got sick last time I was here I cried (um…I think they’re missing the severity of that situation…I was temporarily paralyzed and that warrants crying!) or that I didn’t cry this time when I had a fever or that I look skinny now or why do I shave and what is this mark and it goes on and on…
But this is all tolerable. What’s actually annoying is walking through the street and constantly being called upon. Now as you know, I’m a friendly person but I have my limits and sometimes I would like to be able to walk in the open air without having to say hello to everyone or being starred at, looked up and down, hollered at or propositioned. Sometimes I hold Alex’s hand just so people will leave me alone.
Okay I’m done.
As an aside: I miss GRASS! Dar is so hot and dusty there is next to no grass and I miss it because grass is beautiful and it feels good under my toes. Arusha will be cooler and more lush!
Being a white woman in a sea of Africans is entertaining…mostly for them not me. If you have been to Africa as a visible foreigner then you are familiar with the constant declarations that you are white. “Mzungu, Mzungu” is like a incessant ringing bell. Everywhere you go people feel obliged to remind you that:
a) You are white
b) They have noticed you are white
c) This is something we should all comment on
Most of the time they just want to greet you or ask you to marry them. ..
Oh and it’s perfectly alright for me to have multiple husbands…in multiple countries…so say the boys at the market. Watch out.
Africa is funny. If you have serious issues with self-worth or confidence I don’t recommend coming here…on the other hand it might be just what you need to get over it. Being the object of investigation for everyone around you means every flaw will be noted and mentioned…and likely laughed about. I can’t even count the number of times the freckles or moles on my arms have been counted or comments on my stray-away hair in the wind or discussions over the fact that I don’t take sugar in my coffee and take smaller portions at dinner or the fact that I drink a lot of water or that when I got sick last time I was here I cried (um…I think they’re missing the severity of that situation…I was temporarily paralyzed and that warrants crying!) or that I didn’t cry this time when I had a fever or that I look skinny now or why do I shave and what is this mark and it goes on and on…
But this is all tolerable. What’s actually annoying is walking through the street and constantly being called upon. Now as you know, I’m a friendly person but I have my limits and sometimes I would like to be able to walk in the open air without having to say hello to everyone or being starred at, looked up and down, hollered at or propositioned. Sometimes I hold Alex’s hand just so people will leave me alone.
Okay I’m done.
As an aside: I miss GRASS! Dar is so hot and dusty there is next to no grass and I miss it because grass is beautiful and it feels good under my toes. Arusha will be cooler and more lush!
Monday, October 12, 2009
curriculum development
Hello Friends!
It is good to hear from some of you. Things are well here. The best way I can describe being in Tanzania is that it's like falling in and out of love over and over. That probably sounds overly romantic but I mean it in the way that every emotion you feel here is amplified...probably because as a foreigner I am fairly vulnerable. So when things are beautiful and you feel confident it's like being in love because you're so happy but in a moment you can feel alone or lost or miss home or find out someone you love probably has HIV and suddenly your heart is broken again.
Anyway, it is hard to believe I've been here just over a week. Time moves slowly in Tanzania...that may have something to do with the fact that you wake up around 5am! Every morning I can depend on the THREE local Muslim temples blasting the morning call to prayer every 15min for an hour starting at 5am. Then the rooster that perches outside my window notices the light and screams at me until I force myself out of bed around 7am...if only to make him shut up. If that thing didn't contribute the livelihood of the family I'm staying with I think I'd have to shoot it.
Speaking of the family I'm staying with...they are wonderful! Mama Mercy takes good care of me and is an excellent cook.
Last Thursday was a very interesting day. I was invited to take part in a curriculum development meeting. The project I am working with developed three new courses and this was a meeting of the stakeholders to review them and make changes. It was so exciting to read the syllabus and participate in forming some really great courses. I kind of wished I could attend the classes! Wendy Russell would be proud of me because I recommended an entire section on ETHICS be added to the information and communication course. They approved! haha...I suppose my mark is now made! It was very exciting to see such development happening though!
This week I am trying to collect information on the project members with Dr. Mongula out of the country...this should be interesting.
It is good to hear from some of you. Things are well here. The best way I can describe being in Tanzania is that it's like falling in and out of love over and over. That probably sounds overly romantic but I mean it in the way that every emotion you feel here is amplified...probably because as a foreigner I am fairly vulnerable. So when things are beautiful and you feel confident it's like being in love because you're so happy but in a moment you can feel alone or lost or miss home or find out someone you love probably has HIV and suddenly your heart is broken again.
Anyway, it is hard to believe I've been here just over a week. Time moves slowly in Tanzania...that may have something to do with the fact that you wake up around 5am! Every morning I can depend on the THREE local Muslim temples blasting the morning call to prayer every 15min for an hour starting at 5am. Then the rooster that perches outside my window notices the light and screams at me until I force myself out of bed around 7am...if only to make him shut up. If that thing didn't contribute the livelihood of the family I'm staying with I think I'd have to shoot it.
Speaking of the family I'm staying with...they are wonderful! Mama Mercy takes good care of me and is an excellent cook.
Last Thursday was a very interesting day. I was invited to take part in a curriculum development meeting. The project I am working with developed three new courses and this was a meeting of the stakeholders to review them and make changes. It was so exciting to read the syllabus and participate in forming some really great courses. I kind of wished I could attend the classes! Wendy Russell would be proud of me because I recommended an entire section on ETHICS be added to the information and communication course. They approved! haha...I suppose my mark is now made! It was very exciting to see such development happening though!
This week I am trying to collect information on the project members with Dr. Mongula out of the country...this should be interesting.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Gender Equality
Today I am at a much more secure internet cafe so I hope this will post. Things are going alright here. I've finally got a bank account opened and have figured out how to take the daladalas (city bus) by myself. I've been to the beach although I did not swim and have seen some of the nightlife, which is less than impressive. More interesting is some of the conversations I've been having. I'm fortunate that the family I am staying with all speak English and in fact the Mama works in development. So we have been talking about the answers to Tanzania's problems and how the government and other organizations are moving (or not moving) in that direction. Mama believes the key to Tanzanian development is gender equality and I think I agree with her. The catch of course is trying to change the worldview of an entire country that is rooted in deep tradition. Not easy. I've started to get the views of different people on this...asking my friends whether or not and how they were taught about gender in school. You can remould a young child but not so much an adult, of course most of the teaching of the young is done in the home.
Tomorrow I will go to the University and meet with my professor to discuss how I will embark on my first task of creating a media guide. I'm a little bit lost at the moment as to how this will pan out but hopefully we'll figure it out.
Anyway, thanks to those who are praying for me, I need it. Miss and love you all...can't wait to come home - sort of.
Tomorrow I will go to the University and meet with my professor to discuss how I will embark on my first task of creating a media guide. I'm a little bit lost at the moment as to how this will pan out but hopefully we'll figure it out.
Anyway, thanks to those who are praying for me, I need it. Miss and love you all...can't wait to come home - sort of.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
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